Pink Life

“Chores suck, and when you’re a kid, it’s a case of “I’m taking out the garbage because Mom makes me.” … As you get older, you’ll notice that your reasoning changes into something closer to “I’m taking out the garbage because I like living in a house that doesn’t smell like garbage.” That end result is important, and that’s what makes the chore worthwhile. “I’m cleaning my house because it’s relaxing to sit in a living room that doesn’t look like it’s been house-fucked by a tornado made of dicks.””
John Cheese (via cracked)

(via cracked)

owlturdcomix:

Where no one will ever find it.

(via cracked)

gracehelbig:

heysnap:

womanspleasure:

want to take advantage of a woman…how about a good kick to the nuts and a roundhouse kick?  

I just have to laugh, good for her!! You go girl! :D

morning

dang! gotta love her!

gracehelbig:

heysnap:

womanspleasure:

want to take advantage of a woman…how about a good kick to the nuts and a roundhouse kick?  

I just have to laugh, good for her!! You go girl! :D

morning

dang! gotta love her!

funnyordie:

Cat vs. Toaster

In the end, we all win.

Oh my friends, my friends, don’t ask me
What your sacrifice was for
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more

(Source: occupymalfoysbed)

forget-about-the-ticking-clock:

someone should make like a female version of a 21 JumpStreet kind of movie starring Jennifer Lawrence and Rebel Wilson.

love this idea!!

(Source: aquatropic)

cracked:

kadrey:


Moist Architecture: Waterfall enclosed skyscraper in Hong Kong.




those people in there must need to pee all the time. I hope they have lots of stalls in the ladies room. :p

cracked:

kadrey:

Moist Architecture: Waterfall enclosed skyscraper in Hong Kong.

image

those people in there must need to pee all the time. I hope they have lots of stalls in the ladies room. :p

georgetakei:

A joke that really uses your noodle.

georgetakei:

A joke that really uses your noodle.

“mom: you’re so beautiful, sweetie!
dad: if any boy asks you out, i’m coming for him.
grandparents: you’re so gorgeous, guys must be all over you
friends of parents: you’re going to break a lot of hearts
friends: you’re pretty, now shut up.
boys: why is that potato looking at me”

hayleyfreakinrules:

So true.

bwahahahahahaha

(Source: pleatedjeans)

I give up. what kind of world is it that “he” has someone to wake up to this morning, someone to have sex with last night, someone who will give him a Christmas present… “him” a cheater, liar, thief, drunk, worthless piece of shit…and I lie here alone with no one to even talk to. :’( no one even cares that he has broken my life to pieces. that is the part that I cant get over. that still hurts.